A reflection on knowing who you are, and adorning yourself accordingly
“Know first who you are… and then adorn yourself accordingly.” Sometimes life hands you a mirror that reflects who you used to be, not who you’ve become.
It happens quietly.
You walk into a new room. You step into a new role. You run into someone from your past. And suddenly, they’re responding to a version of you that hasn’t existed for years.
It’s disorienting, isn’t it? That feeling of, “I’ve outgrown this version. Why can’t they see it?” But knowing who you are isn’t about being seen. It’s about being certain.
A Story I Carry With Me
There’s a moment from Malcolm Gladwell’s What the Dog Saw that lives rent-free in my mind.
A man named Mr. Morris began his career as a boardwalk pitchman, a salesman who could draw a crowd with nothing but charm and a product in his hands.
Years later, after decades of work, he built a manufacturing company. He wasn’t just selling anymore. He was building. During a court case, the judge looked up, pointed, and said: “I know you. You’re a pitchman!”
But Mr. Morris didn’t flinch.
He replied simply, “No. I’m a manufacturer.”
No explaining. No defending. No shrinking into his past to make the room more comfortable.
Just truth.
I think about that often.
Because there will always be people ready to remind you of your “old chapter.” It takes courage to stand there, rooted, and say: That may have been me once, but it’s not who I am now.
The Moment My New Title Met My Old Narrative
Years ago, I started at a company as a junior coordinator. The note-taker. The helper. The one in the back of the room absorbing everything.
Fast forward: I was promoted to a leadership role. Same building, different badge. Now I was leading programs, guiding teams, shaping the conversation instead of just listening to it.
But not everyone saw the promotion. Some people still saw the trainee.
Decisions were questioned, not because they lacked substance, but because some people couldn’t see me outside of who I’d been.
Maybe you’ve felt that too. Standing in your new identity while others keep responding to your old one.
At first, I tried to overcompensate. I wanted every answer. Every policy. Every detail memorized.
But that wasn’t the assignment.
Leadership isn’t about knowing everything. It’s about knowing yourself.
So I made peace with what I didn’t know and honored what I did.
I’m a connector. I bring people together to solve each other’s problems.
I’m intentional. I make space for the voices usually ignored.
I’m steady. I use emotional intelligence to regulate the room when tensions rise.
The only way for people to see me differently was to live my new identity out loud.
Adorn Yourself Accordingly
To adorn means to add beauty. But here, it’s about character.
It’s choosing the qualities that reflect who you are now.
Adorn yourself with conviction when doubt circles.
Adorn yourself with grace when things don’t go your way.
Adorn yourself with clarity when others question your place.
Adorn yourself with courage when old voices try to shrink you.
People say, “Dress the part.” But real transformation happens when you adorn the part. When your mindset, your tone, your presence, and your choices align with who you’ve become.
That’s what Mr. Morris did. That’s what I learned to do. And that’s what you will need to do when life hands you a title that’s bigger than how others see you.
Mirror Moments
We’ve all stood on both sides of that courtroom. The one pointing and the one standing.
Sometimes we’re the ones doubting someone else’s growth. Sometimes we’re the ones fighting to be seen in our own.
So ask yourself:
Who am I now?
What qualities do I want to “wear” as evidence of my becoming?
And what outdated version of myself do I need to gently release, even if others haven’t yet noticed?
Identity isn’t confirmed by validation. It’s confirmed by consistency. By showing up as the person you already know you are.
A Gentle Action for the Week
Take a quiet moment today.
Not to fix. Not to prove. Just to remember.
Write down: “I am someone who…” and finish it with truth, not obligation.
Then adorn yourself accordingly.
Your best today builds your best tomorrow.
You Might Also Find Comfort In: You Don’t Have to Prove Your Worth When You Know Your Value
A Gentle Note from Keisha
Keisha’s House is a space for reflection, rest, and gentle recovery. While I hold a BSW and MSW, this content is not therapy or clinical treatment.
If what you’re carrying feels heavier than reflection can hold, you might find support in guided tools like Headspace meditation, breathwork, and mindfulness designed to help with stress, sleep, and emotional regulation. Explore it here.
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